The real reason I can't stand you
by LittleLinor
Summary: A collection of short fics about Genis and Zelos... Yes, this is shonen ai, so don't read if you don't want to. Chapter 18: The good side of being obnoxious.
1. 1: Tastes

All right, I challenged myself to do two things...

1) write drabbles, or at least short fics...

2) do a VERY hard pairing.

Since there are hardly any Genis/Zelos fics out there, I thought I might as well try...

There will probably not be any "descriptive" scenes, so don't get your hopes high if you like them.

They'll all be rated T, because Zelos is Zelos and because of the pairing, I MIGHT rate M if he starts having nasty thoughts...

And there isn't really a chronology... if any of the chapters actually fit together, I will tell you

Well, I hope you all enjoy.

WARNING: this is shonen ai, and with a huge age difference, so if it irks you, be on your way and don't waste your precious time nor mine by flaming.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, I don't even own a copy (sigh)

* * *

* * *

* * *

There were three things Zelos Wilder couldn't resist, and he probably wouldn't admit to any of them, even under torture.

The first one was his love of Kawai. For all he played the pervert and acted high and mighty, he would still go "awwww" inwardly at the sight of a rabbit (though the oversized and biting species that had developed all over Tethe'alla recently _really_ got on his nerves), hide a small smile at two kids kissing when they thought no one saw them, and think fondly of all the stuffed animals he sued to have when he was younger and had hidden in a closet somewhere in his huge mansion when puberty and male ego had come calling.

The second, and the one he would probably admit if he had no choice, and wanted to keep the other two hidden, was girls who resisted him. The teary-eyed, submissive kind were cool when he was getting angsty and needed someone to keep him occupied at night, or to get random objects… or even to show off in front of other men or of the girls he _really_ was interested in, but they just bored him. When he woke up the next day next to them, he would get this feeling of panic, of aimlessness, and an urge to get away _fast_. When girls resisted him, he had this wonderful feeling of finally having to work for something, a rare thing for someone who was born both extremely rich and with the title of Chosen of Mana. Not that this title meant anything to him, but most of the girls just melted into his arms because he was handsome and famous, and he hated that. He wanted to get to love like everyone else, so he kept hunting the rare girls who pushed him away, in the hope that he would manage to win one of them genuinely.

The third, and probably weirdest thing was his fetish for extravagant hair. This was one of the reasons he still loved to flirt with the elves and half-elves, even if they were more trouble than they were worth( how they managed to be submissive and at the same time refuse him he had no idea). He loved blue, purple and green hair… But white was a rare treat, not often seen even amongst the said elven and half-elven population, and it was by far the most striking. He had no idea where this taste came from… it probably made him feel normal in comparison… or maybe he just liked the extravagance.

When he'd been given both by Cruxis and by the King the order to keep tags on the group from Sylvarant and any that might join them, he had been downcast at first. He had better things to do, and for all he liked the adventure, he deeply hated Cruxis. He might be siding with them, but they had made him into the Chosen, they had taken his freedom away, and he wasn't about to forgive that. So he had come along and acted as he usually did to hide his bitterness, and had nearly laughed when he saw the women in the group he was supposed to stay with. Little Presea, with her pink hair, and overall cuteness… Colette, who ignored all his perverted comments not because she thought she was above him but because she was too innocent to understand them… Raine, with her gorgeous white hair and her cutting answers… and then Sheena, whom he already knew and appreciated, for all he acted his usual mindless flirt around her. She was one of his first targets, and he had come to respect her somehow over the years. Somehow, the Goddess Martel, for all she wasn't real, had managed to get all of the things he liked into the four girls of the company.

Things were surely going to be more interesting than he had thought.

If only he could puzzle out why Genis's comments hurt him so much…

* * *

* * *

All right, this is the first...

I might connect some of them, and might not...

Hope you like it, and please C&C, I'd really appreciate it.


	2. 2: Worth

All right, thanks to my only reviewer... (bows)

I am continuing with these, and doing Genis... I have to say, while getting Zelos to crush over Genis is relatively easy, getting Genis to be even slightly drawn to Zelos is a different matter. So this will start asa love/hate relationship, but if you look closely, you will see hints.

Also, from now on I will ask you readers to participate if you want... Since those are ficlets, you can give me a prompt or theme in your reviews, or even scenes that you would want to see. The scenes I might or might not be able to do, depending on if they fit with the rest or not, but I will surely use the themes, sooner or later.

Thank you if you participate.

And I forgot to write it, but the name of the first chapter was "Tastes"

And now to the new chapter, but before, the usual warnings and disclaimer.

WARNING: shonen ai and huge age difference. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: ToS does not belong to me.

* * *

* * *

**Worth**

Genis hated the red-haired Chosen the very second he saw him.

His flirtatious, easily controlled voice, the way he walked like everything was due to him, his confident air when he looked _above_ Genis, eyeing the surroundings and the girls there, everything gets on his nerves.

Zelos gets everything Genis had or wanted. He is human, he is rich, he is strong enough physically to protect the others in the group, while Genis has to train like mad to get his spell-level high enough to be useful in a fight. Zelos gets attention from everyone… Sheena because he knew her before and because she has to be careful if she doesn't want to be fondled, Colette because she's his fellow Chosen, and because she never sees what a pervert he is… Lloyd gets another guy to talk to, and believes all Zelos's ideas about how to get with Colette, when Genis told him ages ago that she loved him back and all he needed was to have guts and go tell her. He even flirts with Raine, and the fact that she shares a slight suspicion about his honesty with her brother doesn't help… she keeps eyeing him to see if he makes a misstep…

And he even got attention from Presea, even if she gives him no more sign of affection that to Genis himself. But the moment Zelos entered the group, Genis basically disappeared. He was no longer accounted for. Zelos could do spells, even if Genis had a few more up his sleeve, he kept everyone's attention, and all Genis could do was act the brat so that people actually _remembered_ he was alive.

And the ass didn't even recognise his existence either, except to bring him down. Even when he mastered ground dasher, which was much better than Zelos's spells, all he got was a small nod and a low-voiced "well done" from his sister. Lloyd, who had used to call him "the best sorcerer in Iselia", didn't even notice. And minutes later, when Zelos came up with his healing wind, everyone commented on how useful it would prove if they had to split up, now that Kratos was gone and they needed another healer. Zelos had just laughed. "Ah, what do you want, I must be a genius!"

The day Zelos corrected Genis on his maths homework (Genis had been depressed and thoroughly pissed off at the Chosen's constant interruptions… why did the idiot only notice him when he wanted to be left alone?), something snapped inside Genis.

No matter what it took, he would exist again. He would be the one who got the attention from his sister, Lloyd and Presea. He would master spells no one had mastered before, train to be physically as strong as Lloyd and Zelos even if it meant getting up before everybody else and exercising in secret. He would prove he was the smartest.

If he wanted to get his self-esteem back, he had to beat Zelos at everything. He had to win and shove it in his face. He would only have rest the day Zelos acknowledged his superiority.

And that day, Zelos would finally call him by his name.

* * *

* * *

I thank you for reading (bows)

Until our next meeting.


	3. Cooking

Thank you to those who reviewed, it makes me want to write more...

As I was saying, don't hesitate to submit themes, I will use them, and they will prove extremely useful should I feel my inspiration abandoning me...

So, usual warning: this is shonen ai and Zelos is twice Genis's age, so if you don't like it do not waste your precious time and click the "backwards" button, and usual disclaimer: I do not own ToS.

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Cooking**

The only thing Zelos would never tease Genis about, lest he stop, was his cooking.

How the boy could have learnt to cook so well was a mystery, considering who had raised him. Well, actually, maybe it explained more than it didn't. Anyone living with Raine would probably want to learn to cook as soon as they were old enough to hold a spoon so they wouldn't have to suffer her lemon-saturated sustenance, for lack of a better word.

Truth be told, maybe Regal was a better "chef" than Genis. But Regal's food was cuisine… the food of an aristocrat, and it was academic. Genis's cooking had the special something that characterized homemade. It was simple, but ever so tasty, with often a personal inventive touch, maybe kin to Raine's catastrophic inventiveness when it came to food, but with much happier results. And for all they came from different worlds and different social classes, and he had to make do with whatever ingredients they had in the wild, to Zelos, Genis's cooking had a smell and a taste that spelt H.O.M.E.

Zelos had often tried to dwell in happy memories of his childhood by eating his favourite meals of the time, but it had never worked. He would sit on his expertly decorated chair in his huge mansion, and close his eyes while eating the rich pudding he had so loved, or the delicate quails cooked in milk with rice and mushrooms, but all he would feel was a void in his heart, and a feeling of panic when his heart told him that these days of relative happiness were all gone. Even the candy just tasted sickeningly sweet, something he had never thought at the time. So he had somehow killed his sense of taste… he could feel the food on his mouth, but no longer paid it any attention, his mind always somewhere else.

That had changed the third night after he joined the group.

Sheena had not yet come back with them, and Regal hadn't joined them yet. Lloyd was the one who usually cooked, but that day he had been forced to fight a lot and was utterly exhausted. Colette being incapable of thinking, much less cooking, Raine had said she would try her new Pasta recipe when Genis had silently walked past her, grabbing the apron as he went, and settled himself in front of the fire with the cooking pot, a giant chicken they had disposed of earlier, potatoes and a knife. Zelos had smirked at that moment, wondering if Genis was up to the task, but not commenting because he had tried Raine's bread and lemon sandwich once and didn't want to repeat the experience, and gone for a walk to look at the stars, for lack of "chicks". Half an hour later, a smell of a dish he had never tasted before caressed his senses, and he had sat up in amazement. For just a second, he had believed he was at home again, six again, and that his mother was going to call for him to come back in, because he was late for dinner already. He had walked back to the camp, trying hard not to run, and the first thing he saw when he got there was Genis, the cooking pot reaching nearly up to his shoulders, stirring the stew with a small contented smile.

He would probably never tell him, but for Zelos, Genis was more than a mage. He was a magician who had somehow managed to bring back a lost part of him and to teach him to taste again. His real magic was not in mana, but in the way he would mix everything and anything and still manage to make it taste good.

That's why every time Genis handed him his share of cake with a frown, he would wait till the boy had his back turned before allowing himself a small, soft smile.

* * *

* * *

* * *

once again, thank you for reading, please review, and don't forget to submit themes.

(bows) until our next meeting.


	4. Transcend

All right, this was by far the hardest to write out of the four I've done so far... It's also the one I have the most doubts about. The Genis POV (well, kinda, it's third person, but still centered around his thoughts) are harder, it seems... Maybe I think like Zelos, so it's more natural... now that's a scary thought

Same thing as last time, thanks to those who reviewed, and if you have any ideas for themes, tell me

WARNING: shonen ai, even though it's REALLY not obvious for the moment...

Disclaimer: I do NOT own ToS

* * *

* * *

**Transcend**

There was one, just one occasion when Genis could feel at home, and that was when he practised magic.

Often, when they were resting after eating in the evenings, he would stray a bit from the camp, find a quiet place and practise. He would just stand there, and first let his senses feel the mana around him, the strong currents that were linked to the elements, reading them and learning how they worked. Then we would link his own to the world's mana, and let it course through his body, every time a little more so that the quantity he could channel without being spent became more important and he could use more powerful spells. But the new spells were just an excuse. When Genis used magic, it was mostly to feel the mana flow through his body, using his mind to bend it to his will. When he used magic, the world that usually rejected him suddenly entrusted him with all its secrets, and let him use its own core, it's substance, to use as he wanted, and Genis loved that. Even if being a half-elf was probably what allowed him to be so good at it, magic was the only thing that let him forget he was one.

Magic made him feel whole. Made him forget that he was an outsider both for the two races who had sprouted him and from his own race, since he had refused with his sister to join the Desians. Made him forget that he was small and weak as he felt the immense strength of the elements at his command. Made him forget the weariness in his body from travelling and fighting, and cleaned away the nasty after-taste of having blushed and stuttered too much from his body.

That was part of the reason he loved to fight, even though he would admit it to no one. He loved the rush of adrenaline mixed with the physical experience of magic rushing through his body. And when he fought, he was no longer a kid or a half-elf, because that kind of things didn't count any more in a life and death situation, he was just a mage, and he loved it.

* * *

One of the things Zelos loved about this trip was that he was always fighting. Fighting kept his mind off things, kept him from thinking too much or from asking himself exactly what he was doing, working with the people who had made his life a joke and betraying those who had accepted him. And fighting also gave him a sensation to which nothing short of "playing" with a woman compared, and sometimes even transcended it. He needed the adrenaline, the panting and the need to give his everything into it lest he die on the spot.

He also liked magic… he had started it because he would look cool, and continued it because it was so damn interesting, and gave him a good element of surprise in a fight, when his opponent thought he was fighting a brainless tank instead of a dancer.

But one day he had gone out to spy on Genis, wondering what the brat could be doing each evening, and had caught him standing still, arms against his body and hands turned up, channelling huge currents of mana, and switching from one element to the other. Even without the elven blood that would have allowed him to feel mana like Raine and Genis did, Zelos felt goosebumps running down his spine.

He would still go and watch every so often and marvel at the sight, but ever since the first time he had seen Genis weaving mana with such a look of rapture on his face, magic had had a bitter taste to Zelos, because every time he did some and it just worked, he had a desperate gut feeling that something was missing.

* * *

* * *

* * *

thank you for reading 

(bows)

Until our next meeting


	5. Useless

Woot, this one is the longest yet, Harmony'll be happy

I'm really not sure about it... I hope you like it, but I'll really welcome and constructive comments...

Also I apologise, because I wanted to post it yesterday, and wasn't working o.O So I went to bed instead...

Genis is STILL being angsty, and Zelos is his usual self, torn between his ego and his heart... and he's kinda angsty too, though less than our fave little half-elf... And you might notice the slight changes in the relationship...

As usual, I welcome any ideas, I might not use them straight away, but I remember them and will definitely use them later.

So, usual stuff... I don't own ToS, and this is a weird pairing, with two guys and a huge age difference, so don't read if you think it'll shock you.

* * *

* * *

**Useless**

It's just another day, and just a random fight. Definitely not the first in the day, and everyone is tired, temper up and fighting spirit drenched. Teams have swapped several times, but now Genis is back into the fight, because they are still two hours away from the next house of salvation, and he knows Raine is more hurt than she lets show. He is actually worse off than her, but he won't let her see, let anyone see, because he's sick of being protected. So Genis hides his wounds and his low mana behind his smile and his usual ironic voice, and nobody notices his slight wince of pain as he walks to the front of the line to join Sheena, Lloyd and Zelos.

It's only halfway through the battle that Zelos notices something is wrong. Actually, that wasn't accurate, he corrects himself. He had felt all along that something was off, but he hadn't noticed up to now, because he hadn't been careful, because he was worrying about his own arse and his own tiredness. But now a fireball flies past him, he remembers that the strongest spell that has been cast from behind him since the beginning of the fight is Spread. Swearing inwardly, he tries to get to Lloyd to tell him to go see what is wrong, but the enemy is too strong, and they're outnumbered, and Lloyd and Sheena are busy battling one "abnormal-sized specimen", as Raine would have put it.

"Damnit, why do _I_ have to take care of the brat? Why didn't he let his sister fight instead, instead of pretending he's the strongest man in the group?" he thinks as he tries to fight his way to Genis. _The kid won't last long_, he thinks. Spells fly between him and the dark mage at the other end of the battlefield, but Genis's mana is spent, and it takes all his strength and will to cast an aqua edge. But before he can reach Genis, another overlarge animal bars his way, and Zelos swears loudly, because he isn't at his best either, and all he can do is fight for his life, mentally cursing and screaming at Genis to use a gel and get back into the fight.

It's taken him all his strength of will, all his conviction, and the extra adrenaline given by desperation, but standing is all Genis can do now. He knows he should fight to win back his lost mana, but even after weeks of hard training in secret, his body still won't follow as Lloyd's or Zelos's do, and only his will keeps his leg muscles from giving up totally. Despising himself for being so week, and angry at having to use one of the group's precious gels, he rummages through his pockets, desperate to find a mixt gel before his opponent's spell charge is ready. Even a forcefield would be impossible in his state, he reflects bitterly. Hands finally on the gel, he is about to cure himself when he sees Zelos attacked by a newly arrived opponent, and with the experience he has of the fights since he left Iselia with Lloyd, Genis knows that Zelos won't make it, and that without Zelos, Sheena and Lloyd are going to have a hard time. And from a deep region of his fighting-clouded brain emerges a knowledge, a drill he has forced himself to follow because it's only common sense and in their trip, the group should always come before the individual.

Always protect the healer.

Zelos is smirking, because even in front of defeat, or maybe especially in front of defeat, he has enough bitterness to keep him going, to keep up the façade that has come to mean so much to him, the only identity that he has created himself, and that hasn't been forced on him. The beast is too fast, and he doesn't seem to manage hitting quick enough to do combos, and he can't even rely on his magic, because the enemy is way too close and he can't count on the overwhelmed Lloyd and Sheena to keep them away. Sent flying and landing ungracefully on the grass, he fervently wishes Genis is back into the fight, because the others won't be able to hold for long, and he knows that the next hit is going to put him out of the game. But as the creature rises its leg and prepares to strike, Zelos feels his strength and his mana return, and he jumps out of the way, barely avoiding the hit to his head. He lunges forward and finishes the enemy with a light spear, then turns to Genis, who only has time to give him a bitter smile before the lightning hits him and he falls on the ground, unconscious.

When Zelos, five minutes later, caries with Lloyd's help an unconscious Genis back to the rest of the group, he winces as Raine runs towards him, hugging her brother and setting straight away to heal him. He stands alone as the group crowds around the young mage, and he feels wretched. Because he knows that if he was unconscious, they would be worried, but would never react like that. And because he knows it's his incompetence and his lack of observation that caused Genis to fall.

When Genis finally awakes and sees his sister's face above him, lined with worry, he can't look her in the eye and turns his head as she hugs him. He hates the attention all the others are giving him, because he knows that they're taking care of Genis the kid and Genis the brother, and he's being protected again. And when his sister asks "Why didn't you heal yourself?", he keeps silent, because the answer he silently gives twists his guts with bitterness.

Because Zelos was far more useful than him.

* * *

* * *

* * *

Thank you for reading 


	6. Running

Here, the fic n°6 at last... I'm sorry for the slow update, but I really needed to hear or read once more what Zelos actually said in those scenes... and by miracle, I got the game back, so I played like mad to reach it... good thing I didn't have to start from scrap, I has some saves not long before towar of salvation...

Anyway, they are getting longer... coincidence or will it continue? We'll know in a couple of fics.

Also, I've noticed they ARE in chronological order, more or less... well, not really, they don't connect (transcend and cooking don't refer to a particular time... and in transcend, Zelos knows Genis is a half-elf), but still, the relationship goes by stage, and there won't be a chapter where they are already together followed by one that goes back to the beggining... mostly because this is still a hard pairing to write, and if I start mixing the different relationships they have, it'll become hell.

Anyways, I'll stop ranting and let you all read.

Remember to give me any ideas you have.

Oh, and since the game is in French, even though I have the voices in english "when there are some", I don't always get them right, so please forgive me for the approximative quotations.

Disclaimer: I don't own ToS, WARNING, shonen ai with huuuge age difference, so beware if you don't like.

* * *

* * *

**Running**

When Zelos heard that Raine and Genis were half-elves his first reaction was smugness. It explained so much… The brat's gift with magic… the long hair… the way Lloyd boasted about them being elves, but them never commenting… And also it provided a good explanation for this slight unease that he had felt from the very first moment he had met the boy. His eyes had a bitterness under the candour that had made Zelos look away straight away.

"Sorry, but I'm not interested in talking to guys."

This way probably it, he thought. This fierceness, this hate of humans… No wonder Zelos had felt uncomfortable, it was probably all hidden under the surface.

He had tried to win him over, he honestly had… But all the kid had said was that since he was keeping tags on them he should at least make himself useful. Rejection again, as if Genis despised his very existence. So at the very second he heard that they were half-elves, he felt relieved, and in a way satisfied, because he had been right.

But now as he sped above the water, he felt slight panic rising in his guts, the feeling of anguish stronger than it had been when he had wondered what was wrong with the aggressive kid. The smugness was forgotten, and his heart was pounding, all his arteries vibrating with the same pulse, sending a shock through his oxygen-deprived limbs at each heartbeat. Though if it came from running so far or something else he didn't know.

What he did know, though, was that the smugness had vanished instantly and painfully when Genis had turned to cast a last look at the humans in their group. Zelos's eyes had met his for a fraction of second, and they had been devoid of hate, of his usual sarcasm, even of anger towards those who were leading him to his death. As if his life had ended the second he had become a half-elf in his friends' eyes.

That was probably the greatest shock… this total lack of animosity, as if being a half-elf was indeed a worthy enough excuse to be executed. And as he thought that, red snow flashed across his vision, blood spilt by a woman of the same race as the child before him… And suddenly, he felt a dreadful parallel between the two… as he had been targeted for having been born the chosen, Genis was going to be killed because his parents had loved each other despite the difference in their races. "You should never have been born" had said his mother, and he winced as he realised that it was even more true for himself than Genis… because for Raine and her brother to have been born so far apart, their parents must have loved each other and desired children… whereas he had been born of an arranged and loveless marriage.

"You have to understand how things work here…" he had told Lloyd. But deep inside, he had seen that the roles had been reversed… that the executioner was not a half-elf this time, but a human, and that Genis was just a victim, like Zelos himself had been… Like Seles was. And that his hate for half-elves was totally unjust in the face of such a case.

And now he was running as fast as he could across the Great Tesse'halla Bridge, pushing his exsphere-enhanced body to its limits as he raced after the two half-elves. For all they were no good friends, he didn't want to see those two fall to the same injustice as he had nearly, and as his mother had instead. He was in fact getting ahead of Lloyd, giving extra speed as he caught sight of silhouettes at the end of the bridge, but he stopped suddenly as the bridge started to lift ahead of him. With a feeling of uselessness he stayed unmoving as the bridge lifted, until his brain realised Lloyd was shouting to him. Saying to jump for it.

"Are you mad?" he hissed, his desperation fueling his anger. But Lloyd insisted, and the teenager's steel-strong belief that he could succeed in anything calmed Zelos, who rushed after him and leaped over the gap in the bridge… only to miss the other side by a few feet.

He didn't really have a clear memory of the next events, his fear of dying mixing with his fear of losing the two… But he regained his senses when the last Papal Knight fell at his feet, a dagger slash in the gaps of his armour, and he turned to see Raine and Genis standing still with surprise.

He stayed silent as Raine and Genis talked with Lloyd, thanking the supposed Goddess that the later was the only one that really counted in Genis's eyes, because he himself was in no state to talk right now. Then, the question went round… "Are you okay with us joining the group?"

"Ah, I can't say I'm very comfortable with it…" _because I don't like to question my feelings and my beliefs, because you remind me of the half of myself I want to burry, because I still dislike half-elves as a whole…_ "But I guess we're a bit the same in a sense… I'm not totally normal either, so it's all right."

And as Genis ran to hug Lloyd, Zelos sighed and smiled, because by actually acting for once, and by taking this decision, he had somehow regained his self-belief as a human and humane being.

* * *

* * *

Thank you for reading (bows) please review, critique is welcomed if it's constructive, and good reviews also warm my heart.


	7. Opulence

All right, I'm not really happy with this one... I had it better worded in my head when I had planned it, but I can't seem to make it any better now... So I apologise, I'll be more careful next time

Thanks again to those who reviewed, I greatly appreciate it.

Also, to the Gethos lovers out there, there will be some, since (face it), if Genis can fall for Zelos, then he most definitely did for Mithos. Which will bring an interesting love triangle, until he reveals himself... and interesting issues for Zelos, you'll see when we get there

So, has any of you noticed we have no real way of knowing which of the rooms in Zelos's mansion is his? It gave me the idea for this one...

Disclaimer: I do not own ToS

Warning: shonen ai and large age difference.

* * *

* * *

**Opulence**

When Genis pushed the doors to Zelos's mansion, his first feeling was awe. Of course, the castle of Meltokio had been bigger and all, but to use such wealth and space just for a home was something completely new and rather illogical to Genis. It also sickened him, in a way, when he compared the golden chandeliers with the way people lived in Iselia or, more to the point, to the slums he had caught sight of from far away as he roamed the streets of Meltokio. Iselia was in another world, so there wasn't much any Tethe'allan could do about it, but the difference between people in the same city was totally unconceivable to him, maybe even more so than the discrimination against his kind. Even if it was rotten, and completely unfounded in this world that didn't suffer from the Desians, the discrimination against half-elves had an ideology behind it, and the usual need to find a scapegoat to keep people happy. But the people of lower Meltokio were humans, and Genis didn't understand why those who lived in the part of the town they were now resting in didn't give a slight part of their wealth to get them decent homes. What would the difference have been? A few less paintings on the walls? The only explanation Genis could come up with was the very reason he was surprised in the first place. They were all _humans_…

What probably annoyed him even more was the way Zelos acted inside the house, as if all this was nothing, or maybe as if it was truly all due to him. Zelos would casually play with the silver knives, throwing them in the air and catching them again just to impress Lloyd and co, sit on the delicately engraved wood table while boasting about his "conquers"… A good bit of the sympathy Genis felt for Zelos on account of his having to be a chosen vanished as his anger flared at just how much Zelos took for granted. Being human, rich, and living in the flourishing world where the mana for his spells was everywhere, just _waiting_ to be used instead of painstakingly dragged in… Zelos had so much, so much others would want or need, and he wasn't any thankful for it… he didn't give a damn.

Later that night, feeling relatively down from his vain attempts to coax Presea into a minimum of emotional response, he decided to take a look around the place, since it was so big. The mere size, and the fact that there was furniture, flower pots and presents everywhere would have made it a wonderful place to play hide and seek, if Genis had been in the mood and if he hadn't been the only emotionally sane person under 15 in the group. Well, Presea was much older than 15 anyway, but for him she was still an adorable young teenager and not a mature woman. Not that it made her any less beautiful. Genis sighed. For all he acted grown up and had a lot on his mind lately, being able to play and laugh like a kid would have been a relief.

It wasn't until he had explored half the house that he started to feel something was wrong. He couldn't place what it was, but something was missing, and his inquisitive mind would not have rest until he had found out the answers to his questions. He continued his exploration with that new goal in mind, this time switching to the bedrooms, which were quite a few. And when he got to the last of them, it struck him. They were all the same. All taken care of, probably by servants, so they had vases of flowers even when no one looked at them, and all clean, but Genis realised Zelos's room must have been somewhere amongst them and he hadn't even noticed. He went back through every room, this time looking carefully, and finally found one which must have been the one. The only hint that someone lived there was a book on the bedside table. No personal items, no furniture moved around to fit his taste, no discarded clothes (even if they would probably have been taken care of by the servants by now), nothing showed that someone actually lived there. As if Zelos only spent enough time to sleep in the room, then got out as fast as he could. Genis thought back to the room downstairs, and remembered the ton of presents on the table of the entrance hall. They hadn't even been opened. And Genis understood, and with that knowledge his sympathy for Zelos returned slightly. This was not his home. It was the place he slept him, it was his house admittedly, but it wasn't the safe haven where you felt that no matter who you are there is at least one place you belong. Genis thought back fondly to his own home in Iselia, and he felt sorry for Zelos, if only just a bit. Maybe he was taking some things as granted, but things that should be given to everyone apparently weren't always granted to all.

* * *

* * *

* * *

Again, thank you for reading, and please review, I'd greatly appreciate it. And remember that any ideas are welcome 


	8. White Hot

Well, sorry for the late update... the truth is, I've written three of them, but they are linked with the story and much further on in the plot, so I'm keeping them...

Actualy, this one is further on int he story too, but it's more general, so I guessed I could put it here. It should be either before hey go to Welgaia to save Colette, or during that time, or between that and Flanoir.

And it's the first time I do a POV, and I'm not totally satisfied with this, so please help me with crit, but please be mercifull, thanks

Disclaimer: I don't own ToS, and warning: Shonen ai and huge age difference.

* * *

**White hot**

I knew Sylvarant was far behind when it came to technology, but I honestly never would have believed that its people would still cauterise wounds to heal them. Yet it's what you did, ever since I've met you, to the point where your hair reminds me of blazing white-hot metal.

I don't know if I should curse you for the pain or thank you for the result… But I do know that you've managed, consciously or not, to find every little flaw, every hidden wound and brought it out in the open. And somehow you've burnt each and every little one of them, leaving me raw, but ironically relieved.

The first of these was probably my hate of half-elves… It was so easy, and so natural in this world of ours… But then you came along, with your pain and your pride, and that damn superiority complex that turned to inferiority when your race was revealed… And after that, there was no way I could keep that position, not after you looked at me and your eyes burnt that particular part of my personality to ashes. The half-elves in Cruxis are responsible for my miserable joke of a destiny, but every time I want to hate them, I see those eyes again, and I know that I'll never be able to again.

Same goes with my selfishness, my pride… and my double play. Every time one of them starts to poke its nose out you catch hold of it, tear it out and shove it back in my face.

Merciless.

Are you even conscious of what you're putting me through? Probably not. And that's maybe why you actually succeed in doing it… You're so damn innocent when it comes to it, it just makes me feel guilty…

Isn't it weird? You're an incarnation of everything I hate, yet I can't bring myself to hate you. I want to run away from you, to stop seeing all this failure that is me, but even that shows me my own weakness… And besides, even if it's painful, in a way it heals… Not in the way pain killers would… I've had enough of those. One woman per night, it works just long enough to make life bearable, but it always comes back… Even Lloyd's trip is a painkiller of sorts, keeping my mind away and giving a goal… But you won't allow that, will you?

You know, I wonder if I'll still be myself once you're done with me. So many things are changing… so many certitudes blown away… Once all of this mould has been burnt away, will I be a better version of me, or just someone who never existed before? And more importantly, would I care? I'd probably care less if I was the only one you'd changed… but even that'd be too easy, wouldn't it? Because I'm not, you seem to draw the souls with rotting wounds, just like Lloyd draws those in need of a goal. And that's probably how you drew Mithos to you, too. True, you were the perfect target if he wanted to get integrated in the group, but there's more than that. I can see the change in him, how he is always seeking your company, how he asks for your opinion, even when it saddens him that you don't share his. And even this shows the change. The Yggdrasil I knew would never have been saddened that someone didn't share his goals. You are a dangerous one, Genis. If you can (wright?) such a change in people like me or him… There is no knowing what you are capable of.

I am wondering, though… once you're finished with me, will you cast me away, and move to someone else? Not that I was ever anyone special to you, but in a selfish way I'd like to be the only one to undergo that change. I can't stand the idea of being one among many others, and of having o go back to my old life. I can't. I've changed too much, and I've travelled with you people a path from which there's no turning back.

Maybe I should take the easy path… do what I'm supposed to do and wash my hands of it… my orders from Cruxis arrived before I met you guys, so in a way it'd be justified… But if I did that, I'd just prove to you that I'm indeed a traitor, a coward… and I can't stand the idea. I want you to see I've changed, I want to count… and I want to do something with my life, even if it means I'm going to die trying. In a way the old me is already dead, so what do I have to lose. I guess Mithos is in for a big surprise.

There's just one thing that bothers me though… You've healed me and you've nearly healed him, and you'll probably unconsciously help many others in the future… but you, who will bandage your wounds?

* * *

* * *

Thank you for reading!


	9. How low

AUGH, crashed when I tried to upload this, so I have to make the AN again...

I'm not altogether happy about this fic... It's too messy for my taste, but after playing around with it for sometime, I can't seem to make it better, so I'll leave it as it is for the moment. It follows a train of thought (Zelos's in this case... I seem to identify more and more with him, maybe I'm finally getting the hang of this character)

I'm sorry for the slow updates... university is taking over... so I have less and less time. I'm writing another chapter at the moment though, so maybe it'll be here soon... depends if time and inspiration come at the same time... And I'm using one of the prompts given by you lovely reviewers btw

Ok, so here's the disclaimer: I do NOT own ToS, and while I'm at it, I might as well do the warning: this is shonen ai, and with a HUGE age difference, so if you don't like it, you might want to click the "back" button on the top left of the page... though if you've reached chapter 9, I dare say you might be aware of the pairing by now...

Well, I hope you enjoy it

* * *

**How low**

Seeing the way Genis acted around Presea made Zelos plain mad. The first time he had seen Genis stuttering in front of the pink-haired girl, he had been relieved to see that the kid wasn't as cold as he appeared, and that he had weaknesses. He felt some kind of satisfaction at seeing the half-elf's iron walls, ice mask and poisonous tongue crumble before the girl. But now it made him mad and uncomfortable, somewhat nervous…

Part of it was jealousy. Jealousy at Presea for having someone as dedicated to her, even though she hadn't done anything for it except existing. For he who was hated _because_ he existed, it was a deep longing, and one that his hunt for women didn't ease successfully. He also envied her ability to be oblivious to all of it, to have no feelings and not have to face the emotional consequences of your actions. The fear. The guilt. The jealousy. Presea was blissfully oblivious to it. Even when she regained her soul, she displayed little emotion, and seemed unaffected by Genis's unwavering will to win her over. For all he claimed to not care about what people thought of him, Zelos often wished he could really not care, be untouched by the hate and contempt he felt radiating from most people. Or the blind worship he got from some of the women. In a way, it was much worse than hate.

Jealousy at Genis too, for being able to keep his determination, for not lying down in the face of failure. For being able to keep on caring though he had been rejected. For his ability to love nonetheless, though with his experience of life Zelos could tell that this was just a crush, and one that would probably leave him if he found someone closer to his heart. Zelos craved for this ability to love, especially when he would wake up next to a woman and realise that once the challenge was gone he felt nothing. It was a terrible emptiness, one that built panic inside his heart as he searched something or someone to hold on to, to use as an anchor against the fleeting reality.

After some time, however, the whole thing started to really get on Zelos's nerves, and make him uncomfortable. Thwarting Genis's plans by catching Presea's attention had been funny enough in the beginning, but now it started to taste like a bad joke to him. He hated the kid… or at least he considered him an annoying brat, but over time he had developed a kind of admiration for the half-elf. Admiration was not really the word, though… but Genis was a kind of reference, something that didn't change, a strength that always stayed even when Raine went berserk over new specimens, Colette acted like an idiot, Lloyd went on wild goose chases and Sheena acted strangely… He was always there, with his down to earth view of things, his wit that gave Zelos a challenge, his sudden seriousness whenever discrimination or injustice was involved. He was, in a way, one of the strongest in the group, and seeing him like this made Zelos mad. He wanted to shout at him to get a grip on himself, but there was no point. Genis would never listen to him… and everyone else would be surprised that he even cared. Or else think he just wanted to separate the two teenagers.

_How far down can you fall just to get a taste of love_, Zelos asked the night one evening. _I go flirting with every woman in this world and the other in hope to find the woman to see past the flirting… he clings to the first hint of a crush like his life depends on it. Lloyd's an idealist who thinks he can understand the pain in every person, but this is a suffering he will never truly understand. He and Colette are so obvious they don't even need to tell each other or make it official, or even kiss. They will never understand the terrifying doubt when you feel the emptiness in your heart and question your very ability to love. Most people search for someone who will love them… It's the first time I meet another one of my kind… one who searches for someone to love, lest he dissolve away._

* * *

* * *

* * *

Well, I hope you liked it... If you did, please review, it warms my heart and motivates me to write more. ANd if you have ideas about themes, or how to improve this particular one, please tell me

Till our next meeting.


	10. Cookies

Well, that took time... actually, it's been written for over a week, but it wasn't typed... (I usually type directly, but this one was written at university...), and I was way too tired to do it, because I've been having both university and health issues. But tonight I'm alone at home, and i took my courage and typed it, ebcause some people, including Harmony-chan, have been patiently waiting for it... and actually NOT pestering me but just giving encouragement... so to all my reviewers, I LOVE YA ALL, you saved my day more than once.

Actually, this is a present to you reviewers, since it's a prompt that was given to me in one of the early reviews... I have to check out who it was, but thanks a lot to that person! I will use more of them if you do give me ideas

So, now to the fic itself...

This is the longest yet... thought the "evil Sheena "one might be as long, if not longer... (the ones who talk with me a lot will know what "evil Sheena" is... the others will see when it's up). ANd it's the first time I do an actual scene. Thought it'd be a nice change, and anyways, it's always good to have variety, otherwise it becomes too easy if you always stick to a style.

The title is "cookies", but to be more accurate, it should be "expensive pastries out of Meltokio's most fancy bakery"... But that was a bit long '

And yeah, I decided that with his mind and who his sister is, Genis understands Zelos's jokes, unlike Lloyd. I wasn't sure about it, but it was necessary to get the atmosphere I wanted, and admit it, he probably DOES understand them.

So, here comes the disclaimer... I do not own ToS.

Warning: shonen ai, large age difference... And several rather... Zelosish jokes. Good thing I rated this T in the first place :p

Good reading

* * *

**Cookies**

"Sis, _please_!"

"No, Genis, you're noticeable enough without having to lean against someone, and you need to let that ankle heal. Tomorrow we set out again, and you'll need to be able to walk and fight. I've healed you as much as possible, now you need rest."

Genis was totally downcast. They had decided to rest for a day in Meltokio before setting out again to go fight Volt. Under Genis and Lloyd's constant pestering, Raine had agreed to a sightseeing trip around the royal city, as long as they stayed out of sight of the palace. Unfortunately for Genis, thought, he had been too happy about it and had been careless enough to let a snake come from behind. It had bitten him on the ankle, slicing right through the Achilles' tendon.

Which was why he was now doomed to stay in Zelos's mansion while Lloyd urged a slightly reluctant Sheena and an unreacting Presea out of the door. Genis was mad at missing the fun. But the real reason for his desperate insistence was elsewhere.

"Sis…" he asked again, using his last resort technique of what Lloyd called 'the puppy eyes of doom' to try and move her. "Don't leave me with _him_!"

"Why, but you should be happy to stay with such a gorgeous specimen as me!" drawled the Chosen as he entered the room from a side door. He put one arm around one of Genis's shoulders and leant above the other, obviously intent on making him mad. "Or is it you're scared you won't stand the comparison?"

"Behave, Zelos", called Raine as Genis clenched teeth and fists. The Chosen released him and moved back a step, smirking.

"As much as I'd love to rid you of him, he's way too conspicuous to come with us. He can't move around without being recognised. Besides… "she paused," having you here is a good idea… at least you can check he doesn't slip out while we're away."

"And since when am I the idiot Chosen's babysitter?" asked a truly desperate Genis. "Why don't you ask Regal?"

"I still don't completely trust him…" she sighed. "Genis, I'm sorry but this decision is final."

She hugged him briefly and walked towards the door, calling "Zelos, you'd better behave or I'll take care of you myself!" as she left.

ooooo

" 'Take care of me', huh? Coming from the Professor, that should be interesting", leered Zelos's voice from behind him. Genis turned and cast him a glare that made the Chosen recoil and go sit on one of the sofas, trying to relax and look unaffected by the aura of hate that radiated off the half-elf.

_Guess there's nothing I can do against it… Might as well keep myself occupied…_

With a last glare in the Chosen's general direction, Genis went to the room he shared with Raine, grabbed a book and let himself fall on his bed, leaving the door open so he could hear what Zelos was up to. To his great dismay, however, he needn't have bothered. He had been reading blissfully for five minutes, leaning on his stomach and propped on his elbows, when the redhead invaded the room.

"What the hell are you doing here?" sighed the mage, not moving his eyes from the book.

"I was bored", complained Zelos, sitting on the side of the bed.

"Oh woe, how are we going to survive?" leered Genis, still ignoring him. "Either grab a book of your own or make yourself useful, for once, for example by preparing something to eat for tomorrow…"

"Awww, won't you talk to me?"

Silence.

"Oh, come _on_, Genis, why do you have to be so cold?" he asked, this time with a more honest tone.

Surprised at being called by his actual name, Genis leaned on his left side to face the Chosen, finally acknowledging his presence. The redhead was looking at him with a rather convincing imitation of his puppy eyes technique. He sighed.

"Look here, Zelos…" he started with a more patient tone. "It's been hectic these last days and I've never had the chance to read… So since I can't run around the city, I'd at least like to be able to finish this…"

"What's it about?"

Genis shrugged.

"Random novel… I need the distraction."

Zelos nodded in understanding. Though they didn't let it show, he knew being on Tethe'alla, where they were considered less than human, was hard on Raine and Genis's nerves. Raine was always tense and alert, and as for Genis, Lloyd had told Zelos that he felt cut out since that arrest in Sybac, as if the half-elf rejected him to keep both of them safe.

Genis, encouraged by the silence, had turned back to his novel, dutifully ignoring the Chosen once more. Zelos stayed for a few minutes, but when it became obvious he would get nothing more out of the half-elf, he sighed and stood up, heading back downstairs.

ooooo

An hour later, in which the only sound coming from Genis's room was the turning of pages, Zelos started to be thoroughly depressed. He was bored to death, mostly, but he had to admit that the cold indifference he got from Genis hurt. Zelos thrived on attention, he needed it as much as he needed air to breathe. While fighting with Genis was all right with him, even enjoyable, being totally ignored was something he didn't like in the least. Thinking of a way to make his day worthwhile, he suddenly smirked as an idea struck him. He stood up and went off to find Sebastian, whistling at having found a way to both get Genis's attention and his revenge on the others for keeping him cooped up while they were having fun.

ooooo

_It had been quite some time since he'd had time to read, reflected Genis as he devoured his novel. In Iselia, I'd read whenever I wasn't at school or playing with Lloyd and Colette… Or over at the ranch to see Marble_, he conceded darkly. _Maybe I should have stayed and read that first day… Then she wouldn't have died and we wouldn't have been banished… But then, what would have happened to Colette and Raine…_

He was deep in thought, his book forgotten, when Zelos's voice called from downstairs.

"Geniiiiiiiiiiiiis! You might want to come down!"

He hesitated. It would be better to ignore the redhead, but he wouldn't put it past him to come up to make sure he'd heard.

"No, thanks!" he shouted back.

"Too bad for you!"

Genis rolled his eyes and went back to his book, but within two minutes his mouth was watering with the smell of hot pastry that was drifting through the open door. Finally dropping his efforts to stay concentrated, he closed his book rather harshly and set for the downstairs living room.

ooooo

"Oh, I thought you didn't want any…" leered Zelos, who was half-sitting, half-lying on the sofa.

"Oh, shut up", said Genis, reaching for a small cherry pie. He never caught it, however, since when his hand was only centimetres away, Zelos whipped the box from under his fingers.

Genis crossed his arms and sighed.

"All right, what do you want?"

"A lot of things, actually, but I doubt you could take away my title, so if we stick to the matter at hand… sit down and listen to me, ok? I have an idea that I think you'll like."

Cursing his sweet tooth and despising himself for allowing himself to be bribed by cakes, Genis sat on the armchair opposite the Chosen and took the now reachable cherry pie, taking a small bite before whistling in awe.

"Wow, I don't know who baked this, but it's awesome! Adding ginger to enhance the taste of the cherry…"

Zelos chuckled, a laugh rather close to a giggle, which would have made Genis smirk and comment if he hadn't been too busy glaring at the Chosen instead.

"What's so funny?"

"You reacted just like your sister when she finds a new ruin."

Genis looked at him blankly for a few seconds, before bursting out laughing, a clear laugh that Zelos had never heard before.

"It seems I'm doomed, then… Do me a favour, if I ever hug an oven like she did with that vase back in Balacruf, kill me to put me out of my misery, ok?"

This time it was Zelos's turn to laugh. Genis smiled, and helped himself to a toffee and nut tartlet.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, yeah… I guess you're as mad as me at being left behind while the others are having fun, right?"

"You bet!"

"Well, here's the plan… the way things are going, I bet sooner or later we'll end up in Al Tamira, so what I suggest is… when we do, we give Cold Beauty the slip and I use my knowledge of the place to get us both to the theme park. This way you go get some fresh air on the roller coaster while I flirt with those cute bunny girls in peace."

Genis looked at him, disbelief clear in his eyes.

"Let me get this straight… _you_ are treating _me_ to a theme park ride?"

Zelos smirked, which caused Genis to look away, whispering "How sick can you get". Then he coughed lightly and continued.

"Well, it'd be a dream occasion to piss off your sister, wouldn't it? But mostly, yeah, I just want to make it even. Plus, it never hurts to have a bit of fun. So, are you with me?"

Genis stayed silent for a second, before suddenly smiling.

"Done. A day in the theme park is worth being hit by Raine when I come back. I warn you, though, I will probably blame the whole idea on you."

"Go ahead… I'm very interested in the _Professor_'s reaction."

Genis scowled.

"Honestly, will you _ever_ take that perverted mind of yours out of the gutter?"

"Nope!" claimed the Chosen with a large smile.

* * *

* * *

* * *

To tell the truth, I'd have preferred to have Harmony-chan beta this one, but time was kinda short... So tell me if there are any mistakes. nearly wrote "concuspicious" instead of "conspicuous", which ALSO applies to Zelos but doesn't really fit int he context... '

Review if you liked it


	11. Growing up

Sorry for the very long wait... I've been having problems with my computer... so the Evil Sheena chapter, which was supposed to be instead of this one, wil have to wait until I can get it back. Same goes for GLU, for those who are reading it.

By the way I'd like to call out to those artists out there. You like this fic? Draw fanart of the pairing. Honestly I'm not a rabid fan of the pairing, I just write them because it's interesting, but it's inexistant. DA is drowned under Zelos and Lloyd, we could do with ten pics of Zelos and Genis. Ok, rant done. Sorry ;

So... Disclaimer... I don't own Tales of Symphonia nor its characters.

ANd this is a shonen ai pairing, with a badass age difference. Though this particular chapter doesn't show it even if you squint a lot XD It's a very general chapter. But it was necessary. And it gave me the occasion to use the Genis POV again. I'm loosing the habit of doing it.

So, now this overlong AN is done...

On with the fic

* * *

****

**Growing up**

Guilt was a feeling Genis was getting used to these days. First the guilt of the attack on Iselia, Marble's death and Lloyd's banishment. Then not having noticed something was wrong with Colette until it was too late. And now…

He dismissed Lloyd's 'are you alright?' with a smart -if not sharp- answer and a laugh and walked away, his stomach in a tight knot.

… he was cutting himself from Lloyd, pushing him away, when he had been the one to promise he'd stick by him always. The thought made him sick at himself, but there wasn't anything he could do about it, save try to act as if nothing had changed. And it had worked for some time… but now Lloyd had started to notice that Genis was sad, yet hadn't come to him to talk about it as he would always have done earlier.

_It's not your fault Lloyd…_ He felt guilty at not having told Lloyd about his race earlier. _Not really a good friend, am I? I can't even trust the one I call my best friend._ Lloyd had said he understood, but that still didn't change what Genis thought and felt. Nor his feeling that with the addition of new members to the group, their exclusive friendship wasn't real anymore.

He couldn't blame it on Lloyd. He still treated Genis as warmly as ever. But to Genis it still wasn't the same. _Maybe I'm just growing up…_

The thought made him chuckle. Back in Iselia, this had been his dream. The world of older teenagers like Lloyd had been El Dorado, adulthood heaven. Now he bitterly reflected that he had matured, the hard sides of adulthood being forced upon him by the events while the independence he had dreamt of was still denied to him. _And now I want to go back to how I was before… _He chuckled. _And that in itself is proof that I'm getting old before time._

Ironically, he was back in the situation he had been in years ago, when he didn't socialise for fear of his race being uncovered, and Lloyd hadn't befriended him yet. _It hurts more now that I've tasted it, though…_ He Sighed. Genis was a friendly person, even if his trust was long to gain. He had a warm heart, and affection to share, and being unable to share it hurt. But Genis wasn't Lloyd. He was more of a fatalist, and he accepted the pain. _Time flows and people change. And this journey isn't even over yet._

His brooding was cut off abruptly as a pair of hands came to cover his eyes.

"Whaa…?"

"What's up, Genius boy? You were so caught up in your thoughts I didn't even have to be silent."

"Sheena?"

"Good guess!" She let go of his eyes and sat next to him, in a more relaxed way than him, which made him smile. _So much for Mizuhan strictness_.

"So what's on your mind?" insisted Sheena, looking at him with curious eyes. "You've been distant lately."

_How much can I tell her? _Sheena shared with Lloyd the ability to be incredibly dense one second and disturbingly perceptive the next. Though in her favour, she leaned more towards the second one when she was emotionally stable. He had to give her enough of an answer so she wouldn't push, and an incomplete one so she wouldn't guess all the rest.

"I… I just can't get myself to be as optimistic as Lloyd."

Sheena laughed.

"Well to tell you the truth, neither can I. But being optimistic or pessimistic won't change the outcome. If things have to be done, then I think I might as well go with hope rather than expect to lose." She winked to Genis. "Of course it does rob one of the satisfaction of saying 'I told you so'. "

It was Genis's turn to laugh, and Sheena beamed. She felt bad when the young half-elf was sad.

"You might not like it, but you sounded a lot like Lloyd just now", he joked.

Sheena frowned half-heartedly and whacked the back of his head, which made him laugh even harder.

"Humph, and there I thought you would grow out of that teasing habit of yours…"

"Old habits die hard, honey", smirked Zelos as he circled her neck with his arms from behind.

Genis watched as Zelos pulverized the world record of the furthest distance for a wingless flying Chosen, and Sheena sighed.

"I'd better go check on him, Raine probably won't be happy if one of our fighters is out of order…" She stood, then looked back to Genis. "Glad to see you're smiling again. Everyone's gloomy when you're sad. Lloyd might be the driving force of this group and Raine it's brain, but you are its heart."

And she turned heals, heading towards the whimpering heap usually known as Zelos Wilder.

Genis shaked his head and smiled as he watched the bickering Sheena and Zelos. _Seems Lloyd's not the only one to have opened up and made new friends. _He stood up, stretched, and headed off in the forest for his daily training, a small smile on his lips.

_Maybe growing up isn't that bad after all._

* * *

_Thanks for reading and please review_


	12. Tight spot

So yeah... i know I'm updating slowly... but be happy, I got most of my unfinished fics back. Including this one.

SO.

This is Tight spot, otherwise known as Evil Sheena. yeah, THE Evil Sheena chapter I've been talking about for ages. It didn't turn as well as planned, but I can't get it any better.

The next one will feature the temple of Ice. And then Mithos int he one after that.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own ToS.

WARNING: Shonen ai (even though we don't see it in this chapter), mention of sex, and mention of shoujo ai. Oh yeah and 10 years age differene. But there's so sex so it's all right, right? Right.

On to the fic

* * *

**Tight spot**

"From now on, you shall call me Professor Zelos!"

Zelos watched from the sidelines as the group of three teenagers worked on the exercises he'd set them, Colette obeying as usual, Genis complaining because Zelos had been the one to set the work, and Lloyd complaining because it was _work_. He had to admit, he'd been waiting for an occasion to surprise the group with that particular information… if he'd just said it out of the blue, they'd have taken it as a boast, while now it had boosted his worth, and the esteem the Professor had for him. And since she seemed to be the power behind the throne, the throne being the tacit leader that was Lloyd, being in relative good terms with her was a good idea. Especially since he had seen how she treated those who did not go her way.

"You know, that's exactly the kind of fantasy you shouldn't claim so openly if you value your life", leered a voice from behind him.

He turned to see a smirking Sheena, one hand propped on her hip and looking thoroughly amused. Which Zelos, right at that moment, was not. Something about Sheena's teasing eyes told him that the air smelled like trouble. _When did she change from the clueless and innocent girl to this young woman?_ he wondered. _Not that I don't like the change, but the older one was easier to manage._

Hiding his uneasiness behind a trademark smirk, he leaned against a nearby tree.

"Now, Hunny, just what are you talking about?"

She didn't react to the "hunny". Which was in itself a red alert signal. If her smugness was strong enough that the teasing didn't reach her, then she definitely had something juicy.

"Well, I'm not altogether sure Raine would be happy to learn that you're checking out her students…"

Zelos used all his self-control not to let show he was frozen to the spot. Instead he resumed his usual detached and flirty manner and looked at her as if in mild surprise.

"Hum, Well first off I wouldn't do that when she's around if I intended to… second, Lloyd would have my head if he saw me flirting too openly with Colette… and third why did you put "students" in the plural?"

He realised his mistake as she smiled sweetly. He shouldn't have asked, it was exactly what she had been waiting for.

"As if you didn't know… look, you may fool the stupid nobles back in Meltokio, but you can't fool me. I know there are some guys you check out, even if it's mostly girls. And knowing you, I bet you've tried it, too."

Zelos knew a tight situation when he saw one, and this one definitely was going to be hard to manage. The fact that he had half a second's hesitation didn't help his cause, and a smirk came to Sheena's face. _If only I could just deny the whole thing in all honesty… _But he couldn't. He had to admit some men were good looking, though he still prefered women over them, and twice after he had drunk a bit too much he had ended the night with one. Both times had been out of Meltokio, and both he had paid for silence. Not that either wanted to make it known they'd shared a night with the chosen of Tethe'alla. The wrath of his fangirls when someone came too close to him was known throughout the country. How Sheena had come across the information was a complete mystery, though he shouldn't have expected less of the future heir to Mizuho.

Now was not the time to wonder how it had happened, though… now was time to act. And in this particular battle, Zelos knew the only was he could win was by putting Sheena as off balance than him.

"So what if I have? "there was no point in denying it now, so he was going to use it to his advantage. _Trust the great Zelos to turn the tide_, he smirked inwardly. He got closer to her, invading her personal space and taking a sensual voice. "Are you jealous?"

His tactic worked, though only halfway. Sheena backed off slightly from his invasion of her territory, but his words hadn't seemed to unsettle her as much as he'd hoped.

"I don't give a damn what you do with whom, Zelos. As long as it doesn't concern me, you can do whatever you want. But if you let those perverted eyes of yours travel too long on Lloyd, Colette or Genis, then I'm telling Raine."

Something was weird there… normally she'd just have warned the people concerned, or hit him on the head and told him to stop. Why drag Raine into it? Sure, she was responsible for the three, but Sheena wasn't a person who asked for help, she took care of matters herself, and Zelos's wandering eyes were usually a personal crusade of hers, as if she tried to convert him to better ways.

He sighed.

"What's wrong with just looking? A true artist admires beauty where he sees it. It's not like I'm gonna jump and molest them the moment Raine's not looking, you know…" His voice trailed and it hit him. _Raine._

He nearly snerked as he realised the reason Sheena wanted to warn the teacher. _Mostly the same as mine for showing off my wits, to get on her good side… but the motivation is different._ And her previous words were a dead givaway too… 'I don't give a damn…' Oh this was too funny. His eyes lit with mischief as he savoured his victory in advance. _The tide has turned indeed._

"Say, my voluptuous Hunny, I wonder why you're so intent on getting along with Cool Beauty over there… She certainly didn't make you feel welcome…" Sheena fidgetted only for half a second before her Mizuhan training took over, but it was enough for Zelos. He had been right.

"I… just want to get along with everybody! After all I tried to kill them originally… I have to prove I'm their friend.!"

"After you saved their lives several times? And She said you were a good person, even if she made it sound like it was a bad thing?" He chuckled. "Tut tut there's more to it…" He leaned towards her, invading her personal space yet again. It always succeded in making her nervous. "Am I wrong?"

"I… I… _ZELOS_!"

He whispered in her ear this time.

"You have good taste though… She's very pretty… and her body isn't half-bad, either…"

She blushed furiously and pushed him away, rage trying to overcome embarrassment. In the end it failed.

"Stop being stupid Zelos I'm not a pervert like you."

"No you aren't. To be like me you have to be proud of it. Now…" he walked past her, slowing down as he came to her level." Keep silent about my eyes and I'll keep silent about yours, hmmm?"

And he walked away, humming, as Sheena stayed unmoving, trying to force the blush off her cheeks.

It was only when he was far away that he swore inwardly. By that last sentence he had admitted she had been right.

* * *

* * *

Thanks for reading

As always, please review (it does motivate me to write), and give me any ideas you have, they might help me, or even get a ficlet of their own (yeah it already happened Cookies was one. )


	13. Mirror

Wahaha, two updates in a week? Hasn't happened for a long time, heh?

First, I'd like to UBER thank Mandy and Nife, who reviewed ont he last chapter, in less than a day. It really made my day and motivated me to finish this one. I'm really glad that you like this story, and I will do my best to keep it both beleivable and enjoyable. And I DO intend to do the sequel.

Also, Mandy already has it (since she's my beta), but I've done a oneshot that fits in the sequel. I'll give it as a rpeview to the ones who make my life shine by reviewing regularly. It's about ears, and I'll let you think on that :p

So... The idea came to me a long time ago, when I was reflecting on both the characters. It WAS one of my basis for this story, most of the pairing is based on that idea... of those supposed opposites who really are more mirror images than anything. Tell me what you think ;

So now, on with the fic, where Sheena does a lot of thinking, Zelos a lot of noise, and Colette actually isn't clueless, for once.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales of Symphonia. And it's nearly 4 am so I'm too tired to do a flashy inventive disclaimer.

WARNING: again, not obvious in this particular chapter, but hints of shonen and shoujo ai. Pairings (so far) are hinted Raine Sheena, and hinted future Genis Zelos. SO FAR, because remember who arrives when you get out of the temple of ice? (oh yeah, and Lloyd Colette too, but I don't realy focus on it.) Oh yeah and Genis and Zelos are STILL 10 years apart.

* * *

**Mirror**

It occurred to Sheena, as they stepped from the snow and on the cold stone floor of the temple of Ice, that Genis looked very much at home. His white hair and skin, his light blue clothes… all seemed to fit perfectly with the surroundings, as if on purpose. Even the cold determined look he had put on fit, she reflected a bit sadly. It was as if no one could touch him without being burnt by the cold as he walked silently with the group, kendama at the ready.

It always saddened her to see that the young teenager who had been happy go lucky and rather loudmouth when she had first seen him (a rather sort encounter which had soon led to her running for her life from a giant moving skeleton) was now grim and determined, even if he still had as much wit.

He wasn't totally lost to the world of warmth and friendship, though. As time went by she had become closer to the half-elf, and with time he had opened, letting her see the adult who was forming behind his mask, and the child he kept hidden and safe deep inside, for hypothetical days when peace would be back and he could laugh once again. She was starting to know his wounds, and his hopes, and above all the strong sense of friendship and loyalty that drove him forward, more than his need to save the world. After all, the world hadn't wanted him. The only reason he was striving was for his friends and sister.

And maybe also, she thought, to have something to strive for.

But yet, she hadn't been able to delve deep enough to go through the barrier of ice he had put around him.

Zelos, on the other hand, was totally out of place here. In the fire temple he would have been all right, but they had long since made the pact with Efreet, as Raine had been fascinated with the summon spirits and Sheena had decided that having all the spirits they could at their orders would only help them fight. Or at least that's what she had told the others. A small part of her was leering at her, whispering that she mostly wanted to see Raine with her eyes shining and going as crazy and happy as a kid at Christmas.

Red hair floating in front of her stopped her thoughts before she had the time to blush and she looked at the fiery Chosen as he half-skipped, half-danced up the slope, passing her then Lloyd and Regal until he was level with Genis and Colette, a step behind the happy and oblivious Raine.

Sheena chuckled as she watched Zelos start babbling away in that obnoxious way of his to Genis and Colette, then mostly to Genis as he tried to shrug the half-elf's bad mood off. Those two were really a weird pair, ice blue against blazing red. And Sheena had to wonder if Zelos's fire could melt down Genis's ice with time, and if the little she had managed to glimpse wasn't due to him too.

"They get on well together, don't they?"

Sheena jumped slightly at the voice, and turned to see Colette, who had fallen behind to catch up to her. She smiled at the blond Chosen.

"It's weird, isn't it? But yeah they do seem to get on well now. I'm almost jealous", she added with a grin.

They walked silently for a few minutes, looking at the two bickering at the front. Sheena chuckled as a sudden fireball was sent towards Zelos, as a furious and blushing Genis bellowed at him. Raine still didn't seem to hear.

I wonder what stupid joke he told him… I probably don't want to know, though.

"I'm glad for Zelos… Maybe now he'll warm up a bit and be able to go forwards."

Sheena blinked; "warm up a bit" was not what one usually heard or thought Zelos Wilder needed to do.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…" she fidgeted. "I know he's always loud and all, but… it's like his heart is frozen or something. He laughs everything off… and doesn't let it each him…" She looked down. " I tried, I really did… It's like… like… "she looked down." Like there's a wall of flame that's keeping us from reaching his heart. But under it…" her voice went down to a mere whisper, " I feel the cold. I think he hasn't been loved in a long while… and he hasn't loved either."

Sheena looked back to the Red-head Chosen, deep in thought. It was true… that even if they had been friends (antagonistic relationship but friendship nonetheless) for a long time, she had never been allowed behind the fiery image he gave to everyone to see. She thought back to the circumstances of his mother's death. She had known long ago, of course, but no one else on the party knew about it. It was a part of what he kept hidden. And now someone pointed it to her… she could feel the cold that had never left, the snow that he had allowed to smother his heart… to encase it in unmoving ice so that he would no longer get hurt.

She felt ashamed. That in all the years they had known each other she had never read him right, and that this girl who had known him for a couple of months (and was generally clueless, though like Lloyd she could be eerily perceptive at times) had found out what he had hidden from everyone for fifteen years.

_But how do we warm him u…_

And suddenly she understood why Genis was truly his opposite, and at the same time nearly identical to him. _Fire_. Fire was what Genis kept hidden under that barrier of ice. The fire of his emotions, the source of his determination, his life-force and his will to keep on going, to keep on living, to keep on loving, no matter what. Somehow in order to survive as a half-elf, and then as they undertook this hopeless journey to save the world, he had hidden that fire, protected it so that no failure, no humiliation, no dreadful wounds would drench it. In the deepest, most secret part of his heart, there was always fire, his source of strength and of love.

She nearly laughed out loud at the irony, but in the end only smiled and looked back to the two. Genis had decided to ignore the Chosen, and the redhead was trying his best to make himself noticed. Perfect opposites, and at the same time mirror images. One tall, one short. Blue against red. Intellectual against libertine. One a heart of raging fire protected by a case of ice, the other a frozen core hidden inside a blinding flame.

She heard laughter. Zelos was beaming, as one of his antics had managed to make Genis lose his mask of cool and laugh out, secretly welcoming this release of tension.

_So _this_ is why he is opening up to us… _The fiery outside personality of Zelos was eating at his defenses, forcing him to show more and more of his real heart, to let the glow show through the cracks in the ice.

_And in turn… Maybe his own fire will soften Zelos's ice core…_

* * *

* * *

Please review. It makes my day, and sometimes it manages to force me out of my lethargic state and makes me write more. Like today.

And a huge hug to all those who've actually read through all those chapters.


	14. Separate

... sorry for the huge break before the update 

Basically i'm stuck int he middle of the Mithos's arrival chapter. So I finally decided to skip ahead ad write the two next chapters: this one and one centering on Genis. Basicaly Zelos's chapter (Mithos's arrival), Genis's chapter and this one are like a triolgy that take place around the same time and center on the same thing: what Mithos's intrusion in the group means. So even if this is technically after Zelos's chapter, it still fits...

Kinda...

Please? ;

So yeah, I'll try not to take that long to update again 

NOW.

This chapter is Zelos and Genis seen by Mithos. With his opinion of Zelos, his new opinion of Genis, and the first hints of Genis x Mithos. I'm going with a Mithos who thinks a lot. And plans. And actually still has a rather good understanding of people. I think he has it and alwas has had, it's just Martel that makes him forget it.

DISCLAIMER: same as always. I dont own ToS, nor its characters. And the warning... is the same again. Two guys, 10 years apart, with hints of two girls too, though they don't appear in this chapter (well, they're mentioned, but that's off-subject). Don't like, don't read. And if you're still here and don't like it, then you've forgotten to read the disclaimers for 12 chapters now.

ON WITH THE FIC!

* * *

**

* * *

**

**Separate**

Much too close.

They were much too close, Mithos reflected, and it was one of the first things he had noticed when he had joined the group.

To tell the truth, he had never trusted Zelos. The Chosen was the kind to believe in no one and to not trust anyone either, so it was obvious he wouldn't do as he was told with a blissful acceptance and ignorance. He was probably leaking information to several sides at the same time, but Mithos didn't really care. As long as he was aware of it, he could prevent it from being really harmful, and could use it to turn the tide in his favour if need be. What he really hadn't thought, though, was that Zelos would come to trust some of the members of the team. He should have stayed his usual impersonal and playful self, acting the playboy but never opening himself or bringing himself to share or trust… yet there he was, laughing carefreely with Genis and Sheena at a joke he had made at Lloyd's expense. And this laugh was genuine, something he would never have imagined possible.

He really had done well to infiltrate the group, he thought. There had been several reasons (analysing the way they thought and worked, getting an agent inside that he could actually _trust_ (and with Kratos now a father, Mithos could only trust himself), checking their progress with the summon spirits, getting to see who from his team was having contacts with them), but now it seemed a very wise decision. To not be able to trust Zelos's loyalty was something he had expected. To fear his loyalty to someone else was very problematic.

What surprised him most, and this from the very first day, was how close he actually was to Genis. Sheena was expected: he knew her since childhood and they had always been friends, though apparently their relationship was a bit chaotic. Genis, on the other hand, had registered in Mithos's mind as an insignificant member of the party. Back at the Tower of Salvation, he had been mildly reasonable, but not the voice of reason like his sister, mildly passionate but nowhere as strong in his actions and beliefs as Lloyd. He was both a child and a scholar, and mostly he was a half-elf. By Zelos's standards, he should have been classified either boring or worthy of disdain, or even hate. Yet there seemed to be a strange companionship between them, rather akin to the one he had with Sheena, where they were always at odds, yet would silently unite when necessary, and compensate each other's weaknesses. He could see it in combat, he could see it in their actions and interactions with the group. It wasn't friendship, not really, but Genis finally had competition to push him forwards, and Zelos…

Zelos seemed to suddenly have received a breath of fresh air in his stagnating mind, heart and life. And Mithos was truly curious as to why Genis, of all people, could have given him that.

So he used Genis's all too friendly attitude to get close to the kid and study him. After all, hadn't he offered friendship straight away (something that still surprised Mithos)? And he had to admit that the kid had something about him that made you forget about your troubles, doubts and faults… only to have them jump back violently in your face from time to time. There was something strangely endearing… Mithos also felt much more at ease with him than with anyone else… Lloyd's views and his own were much too much at odds, but Genis… Genis had a more subtle view of things, more complex and allowing for shade instead of plain white and black.

He still followed Lloyd's ideals, though, and for those who were more dubitative about Lloyd's simplistic view, his influence should not be underestimated.

And that made his path very clear. Even if he could and would try to win Genis to his side and opinions (both to have him influence others and because he really wanted the lively half-elf to join him), as long as he remained loyal to the group's ideals he had to be stopped from strengthening those ideals, especially in Mithos's pawn. Zelos must NOT be left to make up his mind and learn to trust his friends with everything…

He had to separate them at all costs.

* * *

THanks for reading Sorry for the delay and please reviex, it'd make my week (which has been rather shitty) 


	15. First Impressions

Hum... Again, the Zelos POV isn't finished... so this is Genis's view of Mithos's arrival... Sorry for the delay, i WILL get it doe eventually.

Once again, I'm not totally happy with this chapter... but I wrote it on a sudden rush of inspiration that I was desperate to catch and sue because I've had so much trouble writing recently...

Also i'm listening to an awesme song right now taht kinda reminds me of the feeling I want to give this fic... so I might write another onethis evening o.O

Hope thet'd mke you happy XD

As usual, reviews are loved, and feedback appreciated.

So yeah, the fic... Genis, his friendship wih Mithos, and the change in his relationship with the others. ANd slight hints, because i'm lame like that

WARNING! Shonen ai (kinda), huge age difference, and that's all for this chapter, Raine/sheena isn't even inted.

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own ToS, though I owned Mithos yesterday XD

* * *

**First Impressions**

Life with Mithos in the group was like a dream come true.

After years of having to hide his race, and of older friends, he was finally able to talk with another half-elf, one that was around his own age too, and who was definitely smarter than Lloyd and could keep up with him.

The more he talked with Mithos, the more he felt like he had found a twin of some sort, or a soul mate, they had so much in common… tastes, ideas, fears… Mithos, unlike anyone in the group, could use a kendama too, and Genis was delighted to be able to compete in a friendly manner. And then there was the way he treated him and Raine differently from the rest of the group, giving him for the first time the impression that he was worth something. When she left on her own to find the door to their world and her past, Mithos was the one who cheered him up and helped him, and also one of the most worried.

The most significant difference with Mithos, though, wasn't as trivial as his sister believed. It wasn't just having a friend his age, or even a half-elven friend his age. It was that while he was with Mithos, he stopped feeling this need to prove himself, to burn himself up in training and battle, to prove he was the most intelligent. With Mithos, he was simply able to be himself. Suddenly, for the first time in months, he was the carefree boy of Iselia, more carefree, even, because he didn't have to hide his race anymore.

It was only once they dropped him in Palmacosta and went off to hunt Rodyle down that Genis suddenly noticed that this mere week had nearly totally cut him from his friends. Lloyd hardly bothered talking to him… and Zelos and Sheena seemed hesitant to approach him. Looking back, he realised that they hadn't been the ones to avoid him. He had stopped seeking them out, and been totally oblivious to their efforts to reach out to him.

"Colette… do you think I've been mean with my friends?"

The two of them had been staying in their room in a house in salvation, along with Presea who was already asleep. She looked up at him, surprised, seemed to think about it for a second, and then smiled to him.

"Not really. It's normal that you'd want to play with Mithos. But it's true that he did keep you away from the others."

He looked at his feet, feeling down. Somewhere at the back of his mind, the more mature part of his soul that he had conveniently forgotten during that refreshing interlude was whispering that it had been on purpose. But he couldn't believe it. Mithos was his friend. He was a nice person. Even if he apparently didn't like Zelos, he'd said nothing about Sheena and Lloyd and he'd never do such a thing. He had just been carried away with having a friend that he could relate to, like himself. That was all there was to it…

"But while he's in Palmacosta, you can go see the others and make it up to them!" piped Colette cheerfully. "And then when we come see him again, try to play with him _and_ the others at the same time. Wouldn't it be great if he learned to trust the others as well? With your help, I'm sure he can do that."

Genis smiled.

"Thanks…"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Apologising to Sheena was easy enough. She wasn't really avoiding him, so he went to her the next evening with a bit of home-baked cake and a slightly shy "how're you?", earned himself ruffled hair and a laugh, and the issue was over.

Lloyd acted as if nothing had ever happened and talked to him as usual as soon as he tried to rebuild communication. It was nearly insulting that he hadn't noticed the difference, and Sheena laughed when Genis told her.

Getting to Zelos, however, was harder. He wouldn't avoid him, but most of the time acted as if Genis wasn't there, or as if he was someone to which he was totally neutral, like Regal. After two days, Genis hadn't made any progress, and when they neared the underwater ranch, he snapped. Letting go of his frustration, he sent a rather well-aimed fireball at the Chosen's back, and was rewarded with a cry of pain and annoyance, before finding himself caught by the collar and heaved up.

"Just what do you think you're doing, brat?"

"Working on my aim."

"What?"

"I saw something red right in front of me, so I fired. Seems the spell still lacks power, though… I need a bit more training."

Zelos looked down at him in astonishment for a few seconds, took in the firmly clenched teeth and the defiant look, and finally laughed. He didn't set him down straight away, though. Instead, he brought his face closer, playfully bringing a vicious note into his voice.

"If you damaged even one strand of my magnificent hair, brat, you're done for. Got that?"

"Crystal clear", Genis answered with a smirk.

Zelos put him down, smiled and got back to walking, not commenting on the fact that Genis was walking by his side, grinning at Sheena.

* * *

Thanks for reading reviews are love. 


	16. Racist

Erm...

I'M NOT DEAD!

I'm so sorry for all those who waited, but I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS CHAPTER!

And it was causing me major block for the rest of the fic, too, because I HAD to put this first... SO eah now it's FINALLY done, and I can go on (I have a few half-done chapters, though some miht be cancelled if I don't like them enough.

Exceptionally, this wasn't beta'd by Mandy, because I wanted it to be a kinda surprise. Thanks instead to Rain, from the tales Forums, for helping me with it

So... After I've groveled on the ground trying to get you people to forgive me for beign a lazy a... I'll just go on wih the fic.

Where we FINALLY see Mithos's arrival, and Zelos gets jealous.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own ToS. My ToI game in'there yet either, and my copy of ToR isn't mine. Woe me.

WARNING: THIS IS SPARTA! shot More seriously, it's two guys, thy're 10 years apart, there are hints of two girls together in other chapters, so homophobes begone, please.

* * *

**

* * *

**

Racist 

Zelos Wilder had never been one to handle death easily. The circumstances of his mother's death had left him with a susceptibility to blood, one the colour of his hair never let him forget. Having witnessed, useless and helpless, both his and Seles's mothers' deaths had forever put him on edge, and having it all happen in so little time had given him a feeling of unreality that he had never quite managed to shake off, despite his efforts. Death, whether the deceased was an acquaintance or a stranger, always came as a shock, throwing him out of the frail feeling of reality he had managed to build.

Fighting, ironically enough, came easily. When training, the safe conditions had never forced him to confront the issue, and once he really had to defend his life, the adrenaline more than balanced the impact of blood on his blade. Human bandits were harder than monsters, but he managed nonetheless, focusing on the feeling of fighting, on strategy or on his companions.

But nothing had prepared him for the scene he contemplated, dumbstruck, as he dismounted from his rheiard. The stench of burning wood and flesh, the metallic tinge of spilt blood saturated his senses. Fire, blood, red everywhere, and the heat surrounding him, choking him. He could nearly feel the phantom splash of blood sprayed across his face, though what was left of his conscious brain told him this particular spray belonged to another time, when he had been shivering in cold instead of feverish heat.

Around him, everybody was spreading out in the search for survivors, and he came out of his stupor when he felt Sheena's hand on his shoulder. He looked at her and she gave him a sympathetic half-smile, squeezing his shoulder before letting him go and joining Lloyd who was pushing rubble out of the way so they could access the main plaza of the village.

Taking a few moment to collect himself, he glimpsed a flash of blue and white against the raging ocean of red and he looked at Genis, who was helping Lloyd in his search for survivors, casting water spells to make their path practicable.

_I wonder how he takes it… _After all, Ozette was famous for its hatred and contempt towards half-elves, and their few visits to the village had more than confirmed its reputation, to the point where even Zelos was sick of the "nice and clean" _racist_ atmosphere and Lloyd had decided to avoid the place altogether, only passing through when necessary.

It had been most hard on Genis, he knew. Raine, who had grown in Heimdal, was used to the treatment they got, but Genis, despite his constant fear of being unveiled, had grown in a world where the estrangement of half-elves came from fear of the Desians instead of repugnance, and his friendship with Lloyd and Colette had accustomed him to warmth and acceptance. Where Raine marched proudly with a cold air on her face, Zelos cold see Genis flinch whenever a disgusted look came his way, when the shop-keepers turned ever so slightly so that he and his sister faced their back, purposefully speaking only to Lloyd, or when the only child who had looked at him with pure curiosity instead of disgust was ushered away by his mother because "you never know what these abominations can do to you if you look at them, setting things on fire with their unnatural minds".

Zelos, who had half-wanted to console Genis at that point, had held back, aware of his position. First, if he had managed to build a strange friendship based on competition, constant bickering and occasional exchange of jokes, they had never been affectionate, and acting so now would seem out of place. Genis would probably have felt it as being looked down on, and rejected him violently. Second, he had been hostile enough to half-elves himself, and until rather recently, too, and taking Genis and Raine's defence now would have appeared immensely hypocritical.

Thankfully, Sheena, who had never had such prejudice and had been a friend of Genis's for a longer time, had no such dilemma and had downright hugged him as soon as they had left, and had stayed stayed by his side every time they had passed through ever since.

And now… now Genis, his clothes scorched by the remains of fire, his white hair blackened by smoke and coughing from the choking atmosphere, was using his strength and his mana to rescue the people who had wished him dead.

_If all half-elves were like Genis_, he thought, _I'd be ashamed of being human right now._

As it was, his experience with Cruxis saved him from too much self-questioning and he set out to help the others when a sharp cry from Genis, who had ducked under a burnt beam, stopped him in his tracks.

"Lloyd! Look here!"

Genis was hurrying to a single figure lying among the rubble in the centre of the plaza. Lloyd and Zelos pushed aside the beam and rushed to him as the smoked moved, revealing formerly white clothing and blond hair. A creaking sound made them look up to the collapsing branches and houses, and Lloyd grabbed the single survivor, Genis and Lloyd following him to the relative safety of the outer village where Presea's isolated house still stood.

The boy was strange, to say the least. His appearance was rather normal, but Zelos had a strange feeling about him, a mix of curiosity, discomfort and déjà-vu. At the mention of angels he started paying attention to the conversation. If Cruxis had been involved, it was a miracle there had been even one survivor.

"I'm impressed you survived," he said in genuine surprise. "Are you the only survivor?" And then the obvious question. "What's your name?"

"My name is Mithos."

He froze. The name itself was screaming déjà-vu at him, but he couldn't place it, it was such a common name… He was trying to remember why it should ring a bell when Genis suddenly came closer to the blond teenager, studying him.

"Wait… are you a half-elf?"

Now _that_ explained more than it didn't. At least it accounted for his uneasiness. Even though he had learnt to get along with them, he seemed to still be able to sense who was half-elven, though not always consciously. Genis had told him that it might be his elven blood, though diluted, that allowed him to sense people's mana like Genis himself visualized it. Still didn't explain the déjà-vu, though.

Once again, he had tuned out the conversation, and mentally hit himself as Mithos's surprise seemed to grow even more.

"Humans and half-elves as friends? You're lying!"

_Surprising isn't it?_

Genis, unlike his usual self, was being cheerful, something Zelos found ironic considering the circumstances.

"No, it's true. My sister and I are part of this group!" he chimed happily, surprisingly Colette-like in his attitude. Zelos looked at him in surprise. The usual Genis could be funny, yes, but his humour was sarcastic. Only rarely had he seen him that cheerful, and definitely never in such dark settings. He was now trying to transmit his cheerfulness to Mithos, and would probably have succeeded in doing so if Regal hadn't intervened.

"Your reaction is understandable. I've heard that the village of Ozette is particularly known for its contempt for half-elves. If you lived an isolated life in this village, you must have suffered."

_Wow_, thought Zelos, sarcasm so strong in his mental voice that Sheena, who was standing next to him looked at him, face slightly surprised. _Way to state the obvious. It's been like that every time we've been through._

Sheena didn't have the time to ask him what was wrong, however, as Altessa and Tabatha arrived at the scene, then ran off again. Mithos was still waiting, unmoving and keeping his distance from Genis, until Lloyd remembered him.

"You should come with us."

Zelos was taken aback by the instant and definitive _NO_ that his very guts seemed to scream. He couldn't place this uneasiness, couldn't tell if it was just remains of his hate for half-elves, jealousy, the fact that he couldn't remember why he should know this teenager, or what he _was_ supposed to remember about him, but he knew he did _not_ want him to come with them.

Genis, however, had another opinion.

"Lloyd's right! Let's all go together!"

And with another smile he stepped forward and extended his hand to the teenager, offering friendship to this stranger who he had only known for ten minutes and knew nothing about, but had the privilege of being of the same race.

And Zelos reflected bitterly that maybe Genis was the most racist of them both.

* * *

reviews are loved and useful. 


	17. Interlude: Pulsation

Since the next chapter isn't going too well, I'm giving you a bonus chapter to help you wait. I'm really sorry for the delay, but I've been out of inspiration for a long while, and recently my writing hasn't been that good, and I don't want to publish rushed chapters

I'm really fond of this one, however, and even though it was extremely hard to write, I think it's one of my best chapters so far.

So here you go. Interlude for ya. This takes place just before the first trip to Welgaia (when Mithos's identity still hasn't been revealed, and those two have yet had time to get more friendly).

DISCLAIMER: I do not own ToS, and am not making any money from those fics.

WARNING: guy x guy pairing, huge age difference, rather sensual chapter though there't nothing sexual in it.

* * *

**Pulsation**

"Concentrate…"

Zelos closed his eyes once more and tried to feel, to taste, even to listen to the mana flow, but after two more fruitless minutes of listening to silence and trying to touch the intangible, his annoyance rose once again and he gave a moan of impatience.

"I told you to concentrate!"

"But there's nothing! This is useless! I'm fed up with this shit."

He opened his eyes, seriously pissed, and Genis sighed.

"You won't be able to learn the stronger spells if you can't feel mana. If by chance you manage to cast them, you might burn yourself in the process."

"I know that! Give me a break, ok?"

There was silence for a few moments, silence in which Zelos had more than enough time to wonder why he had taken Genis's offer to teach him to channel mana so he could learn spell more efficient than fireball. It still surprised him that Genis had even offered. After witnessing the teen's trainings he had wanted to do some magic levelling of his own, and his results had been less than satisfactory. It had been pure chance that Genis had stumbled on him at the exact moment he had chosen to recite his entire swearing catalogue, but the idea had amused him, and there they were now, Zelos mad at his inability to do what seemed natural to Genis, and Genis mad at the both of them, Zelos for not learning, and himself for not being able to make him understand. Apparently he had taken the teaching virus from his sister, and his current failure wasn't doing miracles for his ego.

"… You know what? I think you think too much."

Zelos came out of his contemplative state and looked down, surprised.

"You're trying to feel with your mind. Feel with your body. Then you can use your mind to shape it into a spell."

"… And how exactly am I supposed to do that? I don't even know what I'm looking for."

"I know that, just let me think…"

Zelos sighed and settled down on the against a tree, arms behind his head and eyes closed. There was a comfortable silence for a while, Genis thinking and him lazing around. He had just started to wonder since when comfortable silence was even possible between them when Genis snapped his fingers in satisfaction and bent down to poke his shoulder.

"Stand up, I have an idea."

Zelos opened his eyes, and saw with surprise that Genis had extended one of his hands to help him stand. He caught it, stood, and looked at him with questioning eyes as his hand wasn't released.

"You don't need to hold me, I'm totally capable of staying standing by myself you know."

Genis smirked.

"That's not the point. Give me your other hand, I have an idea."

Now Zelos could only raise an eyebrow at the request, but he complied. Genis grinned and looked at him.

"This might tickle a little. Or a lot. I've never tried. It shouldn't be strong enough to hurt, but tell me if it does. Though if it does, it'll mean that it's successful at least."

"… what are you planning to do?"

"It's simple. If you can't feel your usual low level of mana, maybe a much stronger flow would be different enough from the ordinary sensation that you'll notice it. Now close your eyes and relax."

It was hard to relax, knowing a concentrated flow of mana would flow through your body at any moment. He closed his eyes, and tried to relax, failing, until he noticed Genis seemed to be in a near-meditative state and timed his breathing on his. He concentrated on not concentrating, trying to feel nothing, and to expect nothing. Lost himself in the breathing, and the slight pulse he could feel from the hands in his.

And then it started.

It was barely noticeable at first, a slight tingling in his wrists, as if his nerve had been hit and was recovering. Then the feeling spread from there, as if following his veins, and he could nearly feel his own blood flowing, except it felt like air instead of liquid. There was a pulsing, out of rhythm with his fast-beating heart, until after a few minutes the alien gas-like feeling reached his heart, and slowly both beats synchronised, and he realised there were now three poundings united as one, both heartbeats and the eerie pulsing in his ghostly veins.

"You can feel it, right? Your heartbeat's synchronised."

He was woken suddenly from his meditative state, his heart falling out of rhythm, but he held onto the new, strange feeling and it joined the others again.

"Yeah… It's… weird."

Genis chuckled.

"You have no idea how weird it is for me. Feeling your own mana is one thing, but I'm channelling yours right now, and… let's just say I'm not used to feeling I have two bodies instead of one."

It took him two seconds to realise what was implied, and he opened his eyes in shock, looking at Genis. The mage was still deep in concentration, eyes closed and breathing even and slow, but there was a faint blush on his cheeks and his shoulder were more tense than before.

"… I think I've gotten the hang of it now."

Truth was, he hadn't totally. But the situation was too awkward for him. Even though he knew Genis had no access to his mind and heart while doing this, he was feeling naked, and in a way he was, or rather they were one body, as if their hands were one, arteries connected and blood shared, beating at a steady rhythm from one to the other and back. It was both a very safe feeling, engulfed in strength that was joining with his, and a very vulnerable one, his very being open to the other.

He focused on Genis again, and saw a different tension sketched on his face, as if interrogation had replaced nervousness.

"What're you thinking about?"

"I was wondering if you needed time to recover or if you were ready for more… 'weirdness'. I wanted to show you the pattern for _eruption_, but if it's too much in one go…"

Zelos hesitated. On one side he wasn't sure if he could take more right now. On the other hand… he was nearly sure he would never again have the courage to try the alien, intrusive and disturbing experience. If he didn't make the most of it now… he would probably never do.

"… do it."

"Don't complain later. Concentrated on the flow, then. Follow it with your senses and mind, backtrack it upriver until you get to your hands, then mine. Tell me when you can feel my mana."

It took a lot of will on his side, but Zelos complied, letting his perception mix with the flow and following the mana veins until he felt a slight change in the environment. Here, there was less resistance to his movement, and the currents were more numerous, with many intersections, yet they were more clearly cut, more controlled. Following several branches simultaneously he could feel a three-dimensional image of a hand, outlined in superficial currents that he himself seemed to lack.

"… I'm here."

"Good." Genis's breath was speeding up slightly, but he kept his heart and mana beat under control, something for which Zelos was grateful. He knew he could never have kept the connection going on his own if Genis hadn't been in control. The feeling of dependence was anxiety-inducing, but he kept going. His ego would never be the same if he messed up this after he had shown such determination in learning the spell. "Now continue until you can feel every current in my body, then mentally paste that image over your own."

Diving deeper was even harder, both mentally and emotionally. The strain from the concentration was starting to take its toll, and the constant connection was draining him, putting him on edge. He let go of his mental control and let his perception flow freely, until it had filled all the intangible veins, then forced himself to form a mental image of the net, comparing it to his own rougher, simpler pattern. When the main points and currents were superposed in his mind, he squeezed the hands in his slightly. Talking was beyond what he could do now.

He felt Genis breathe in deeply, and from the space outside the net formed by their joined energy as well as precise points within Genis's body came increases in the flow. He concentrated hard to visualise the pattern they were making, adapting it mentally to his own body.

"… ERUPTION!"

The concentrated mana flew out through Genis's chest, and behind them both a small and ephemeral fountain of magma appeared, spilling fire for a few seconds. Zelos breathed out slowly, and brought his perception back to his own body, aware he had reached his limits. As he did so Genis let go of his hands, severing the connection.

There was a minute of tense silence. After the strange connection between them, being alone in his perception again was nearly as alien as the link had been at first. It took him a few seconds to adjust.

"Did you remember it? I don't think I can do that again…"

Zelos stopped staring at the grass and looked back up at him. He swallowed once, then managed to squeeze an answer out.

"Yes, I think…"

There was silence once more, but then Genis suddenly grinned.

"Well then I hope I won't be the only one casting it next time. It does get boring after some time."

And with a last playful smile he walked out of the clearing, heading towards the camp, and leaving Zelos alone with his thoughts and new potential. Zelos closed his eyes and tried to feel the mana inside him, and panicked when he wouldn't. But as he relaxed he started to feel the slight pulsing at the edge of his consciousness, faint presence at the edge of his consciousness where it had been overwhelming earlier. He smiled.

* * *

And just to add to the fun, I'm sure Genis will be thrilled the next time they fight together and Zelos casts it with a "Burn Baby". Will probably regret ever helping the idiot XD

As always, reviews are loved and crit appreciated.

* * *


	18. Kin

First off, I would like to thank all of those who reviewed for this, especially since reviews were rather fast. They motivated me to kick myself and finish this.

Hum... I'm really not happy with this chapter. But I can't really make it better without rewriting it entirely, which I don't have the courage to do right now. So i'm trying to accept the fact that I can't always be happy with what I write, and posting this before my writer's block becomes permanent out of perfectionism.

This is set right after the group gets warped to Sylvarant, when they go fight in the underwater ranch for the renegades. I thought it was a crucial point for both Genis and Raine, as well as a good occasion for Zelos to realise the reality of Sylvarant and of the Desians (since he had had dealings with Cruxis but only HEARD of the Desians at work), but I somehow managed to show a bit of everything without finishing any. If anyone has any ideas of themes I could have used to complete this in a better way, please tell me, I might rewrite it or add them in another chapter.

WARNINGS: usual pairings, though this is one of the chapters where you really don't see beyond friendship unless you squint. And no I don't own tales of Symphonia.

* * *

**Kin**

It was so subtle, so well hidden for one who didn't know him, that Zelos nearly missed it. It was in the lowered volume, in the increase in spell rate and strength, in the way he fought in the melee when enemies came close, instead of evading and aiming for the back lines to cast. In how little he ate, and most of all in how he managed to never participate or be called on during conversations.

It was now, when he was finally inside the underwater ranch, that Zelos realized how crucial, and how improbable? it had been for Genis to make up with him. If he hadn't done before, he probably would never have. The place was tearing at him, and he had encased himself in even more ice to hide, while his fear and rage went into his strange new fighting habits.

Somehow the attitude of the rest of the team towards Raine and Genis had changed, too. He had gathered from Sheena that it wasn't the first time they were in one of these, but it was obviously the first time since their nature as half-elves had been revealed. Lloyd was the only one who didn't act any differently. Zelos couldn't decide whether he was pissed off at him not noticing, or grateful for his natural behaviour. Colette was acting protective and overdoing her already strong cheerful attitude, Regal didn't speak for fear of saying something wrong, Presea was as natural as Lloyd in her own way, since she was always silent. Sheena kept close to both Raine and Genis, but since their reaction to the situation was staying in their different groups instead of sticking together, she ended up moving from one to the other in a way Zelos would have found amusing if it didn't show all too obviously that something was wrong.

It was then that he realised his mistake. Since Sylvarant had no laws against half-elves, he had assumed that Genis's issues with his race had been much weaker before he had arrived in Thethe'alla. From the way he acted here, it was obviously the opposite. He could detect guilt in Genis's eyes at every spell he cast, every man who fell dead. Guilt towards the humans for what his kin was doing. And guilt at the fact that he was killing people of his own race, who had shared the same humiliations and rejection. He had often heard that half-elves were doubly outsiders, accepted neither by the humans nor the elves, but the truth was deeper than that for Genis and Raine.

By going against the organisation founded by their race, they stood alone. Traitors to their kin, yet responsible for their actions.

It was now that he noticed how much Genis was working to prove he was different, as much to the group as to himself. He had to admit it took him by surprise. Genis was as proud as he was, even more in a way, and he had never imagined that the kid could go through such self-questioning. He felt slightly offended, too, he realized. Even with his low self-esteem, his ego hated it when he was bested at something. And in this case Genis was proving he was one step ahead, fighting fears and old habits to create a new identity.

How much _had he _done, he wondered. His feelings towards half-elves, towards Cruxis, towards his own nature, position and identity had changed over the past weeks, that he could not deny. Yet had his attitude changed? For everyone he was still the stupid chosen, and to half-elves he was still only a member of the nobility, one who looked through them and accepted the laws set by the Pope. Even within the team, for some he was still a stranger, and could he blame them? He had stayed behind a visible barrier, revealing nothing, except maybe to Sheena, who alone knew part of the real him already.

As for Genis… had he even noticed the change? Zelos had become somehow attuned to the half-elf, often experiencing echoes of the other's feelings as he realised they were more alike than he thought or liked. It was no longer possible for him to reject Genis as he once had, not now that the teen's efforts to bridge the gap had made him so aware of their similarities.

He had changed, he realised. He had changed, and there was only one realistic way to deal with it.

When the next set of enemies were heard around the corner, he slyly told Sheena that he thought Raine looked strained, then took the protesting half-elf's place beside Genis as healer and spell-caster.

"You know", he whispered, "I think I've found the biggest difference between you and those guys. You might be an obnoxious brat, but at least you've got a sense of humour."

Ignoring Genis's bewildered stare he stretched and plunged into the battle, grinning as behind him Genis shook his head with a chuckle and did the same.

* * *

Thanks for reading, please review!


End file.
